29 August 2013

Day 29. Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

To be more patient and easy-going. Because my kids deserve a calmer, less reactive dad. My wife and step-kids are helping. I’m not one that believes some dude can walk in off the streets and start barking orders, so I’m somewhat laissez faire with my wife’s children. I think I have to earn the right to be an authority figure to them, so I let her handle most of the discipline.

But my three are 10, 18, and 20. If I tend to be too reticent with her kids, I tend to be too harsh with my own. I don’t yell and scream at them, but I get bent out of shape, worked up over things that don’t amount to anything; failed logistics, mostly. So we’re a couple of minutes late, so what? So the leftovers, which didn’t amount to much anyway, got ruined, so what? So my child’s most frequent memories of me are when I’m mad, so…

Yeah. That’s what I said. I’m learning to treat those closest to me, the ones who are stuck with me, like I treat those I want to get closer to. Learning to give everyone the care and attention I use when trying to win someone’s heart.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Your post reminded me about a homily that was given in our church recently...how we demand justice of others but want mercy for ourselves. You write from the heart and I think that is brave and loving of you to do.